When I first embraced the Yoga Well community, as a student in the 2020-2021 DYY Program, I was somewhat adrift spiritually.
A BIT OF BACKGROUND
The foundation from which I let myself lift into the nebulous was a lifelong love for the Episcopal Church with its beautiful liturgy and open-mindedness, and a career spent writing in the Christian publishing world with its more evangelical approach.
I was able to straddle those two views of Christianity until I couldn’t.
It became more and more impossible for me to align with the exclusivity so often present in the Christian faith, as in, This is the only way. And it is a very narrow way. And I was less and less able to see where I fit, even in my beloved Anglican communion.
THE DRIFT
I never stopped believing in a loving God, one who honored my struggle. I still believed Jesus had a great deal of value to teach us. I could continue to see him as a model. But the sole way to a salvation I wasn’t sure I needed?
There were simply doubts, niggling questions, which made it difficult to attend even a liturgical church service. I couldn’t say the Creed (the words “only Son of the Father” refused to come out of my mouth). I set the Bible aside. I stopped writing for Christian publications. Probably most significant of all, I ceased calling myself a Christian, because I always had to follow it up with the qualifier: But not THAT kind of Christian.
I felt a need to call myself something, but nothing fit.
AND THEN CAME YOGA
I had practiced Yoga in studios off and on since my late 40’s. In 2018 (in my late 60’s) I began to study what I called then “seriously” with two teachers I connected with. Then 2020 brought two things: COVID and my work with Yoga Therapist Melissa Shah, who was guiding me through a headache that never went away.
What does that tell you?
When I shared that with my Evangelical brothers and sister, there were some raised eyebrows and very likely some bitten-back warnings. If you’ve ever Googled “what Christians think of Yoga” you know why.
Still, when Melissa urged me to enroll in the Deepen Your Yoga Program, I sensed it was the thing to do. In my year with that truly stunning community, one word continued to whisper to me, whether in the Yoga Sutras, the Bhagavad Gita or even experience design…
That word was “Knowing.”
Not belief. Not doctrine. Not credence.
Simply knowing.
Knowing my body. Knowing my patterns. Knowing what is mine to do.
And, alas – Knowing what is true.
Returning Home
Sometime in that year, I began to know that I didn’t have to adhere to a party line. I didn’t have to label myself, put Me in a cubbyhole. I could fully give myself to my Knowing without excluding anyone else’s.
I began to see biblical teachings as they were intended. I could talk about God as I understand God without fear of offending anyone or being called a heretic (both of which have probably happened, but nobody’s saying it to my face!) I could be authentic in my writing, rather than trying not to step on any toes.
I could be authentic, period.
While learning some (okay, a minute amount of) Sanskrit, chanting words whose meanings I hadn’t a clue, closing alternative nostrils in ways that made me feel a little ridiculous, something unforeseen happened.
I returned to the Christianity I’d been about to abandon.
YOGA AND RELIGION TODAY
I’ll say here for the last time, Not THAT kind of Christianity. There’s no need to qualify that anymore. I, know, what I mean. I don’t even have to say it out loud.
Yoga has brought me to the truth of it. A truth I can live.
I am open about this, the aforementioned evangelical brothers and sisters. And I smile at the sweet irony: Yoga has brought me back to the Christ.
Go figure.
Nancy Rue
I’ve had a wonderful career as an author, and I now mentor writers through the group The Scribbling Women, which simply happened as the best things do. I am a wife, mother, grandmother, tea drinker (loose leaf only; I’m a bit of a snob) and voracious reader and learner.
Where to find Nancy:
Looking for more?
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